The Sin of Twilight

Yowza.

2009-02-24T16:25:00.000-08:00

I LOVE YOU DEL. XD

Yowza, blogger. Do I want to continue madam red? >.>;; Dunno.

I'm the girl who loves Club Penguin. Get over it.

2008-11-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

I miss my blog.

//.so.you.came.huh.//

Yeah. Stupid as I am, and even if my grammar sucks, I came back. (Darn you blog.)

//.whats.new.//

Yeeeah. SO yesterday, we made pumpkin pancakes. It tastes fine, actually, good, since Gerard finished it all. I brought some mashed pumpkin home so I could experiment and stuff. We were five in total, and we stayed at Clev's house. Me, Ron, Rachelle, Clev and Gerard. We acted like we weren't normal students. We rocked. XD

Besides from eating mashed pumpkin with butter (not me.), I guess we acted normally... Yeah. We acted normally. :D And repeating it doesn't mean anything. Swear. :D

LOL @ HP Printer ad. XD Bad printout. XD

And oh yeah, we won the Carol Fest. We're going to the freaking FINALS! *flails* I HATE IT. Three representatives, and we're one of them? Gawd. No more DST. More screams. More tears. Less glory. What the hell.

If I told you guys I have no problems with this Carol Fest, well, it's obvious that I'm lying. Thought I'm okay with losing DST, since I've been going home at 5 since I'm waiting for my sister, I just can't take the irresponsibility of the people around me. I mean, DUH. A president who follows other's requests? Sad but true, she needs to change. Hell of a change.

*bangs head on the wall* I need to lose some weight. NOW. I weigh 45 kilos last time.. I dunno now. *bangs head on the wall* I hate mehself.

//.what.else.is.human.to.you.besides.to.the.fact.that.you.cook.//

I have a boyfriend. Get over it.

And I download games at the net? I still suck at StepMania. Caramelldansen's really catchy. Oooh-oooh-ohhh-uaa-uaaa~

And I have those leg sock thingy. Wanna use them out soon. XD

And uhh, I dunno. I have and read blogs? Oh well.

//.ouch.//

I love my back. It hurts so much I wanna get it off my body.

Anyway, see you soon blog. I need some rest. :D

Confession Sessions.

2008-11-14T13:56:00.000-08:00

//.confession.sessions.//

Many things happened. Apparently, I'm happy enough as it is. I mean, all this love and stuff. The most memorable love day for LAVOISIER. One break up, one official and one confession.

Let's name the girl and guy at the breakup as Mr. and Ms. Heartbreaker. Then at the official, call them Mr. and Ms. Nightingale. AT the confession, Mr. and Ms. Edison.

Mr. and Ms. Heartbreaker lasted for 3 months. Some parental problems broke them up. Which is devastating since they love each other. Mr. Heartbreaker doesn't know what to do. He wants to help Ms. Heartbreaker so much. I've been counseling him for a while, in YM and texts. I can't tell him what to do, but I'm pretty sure he knows what to do, by now.

Mr. and Ms. Nightingale is a pair of both stupid and blind people who fell on the ditch. Or the sewer. XD They failed to realize their feelings until Mr. Heartbreaker made Ms. Nightingale confess that he likes Mr. Nightingale via text. And Ms. Nightingale has been downing herself that she can't and won't be with him. Guess what? Ms. Nightingale made Mr. Nightingale choose between his past and his now. He chose his now. :D

Mr. Edison is a friend of everybody, especially Ms. Nightingale, at that time. It was nearly 2 minutes before 12 at Mr. Edison's watch. He told himself that he'll confess at 12:00 noon. Nearly everybody was at the room. Ms. Nightingale was with Mr. Edison, and Ms. Nightingale was making a countdown for him. And Mr. Edison did confess to Ms. Edison.

//.happy.ending.//

I hope so. I told the story to my sister. She told me she's not against it. Thank God. XD

Let you give up on a miracle...

2008-11-08T13:34:00.000-08:00

//.you.resume.your.status.of.being.single.//

Don't matter, I heart being single. Don't rub it in, guys.

//.what.the.hell.happened.//

I have no idea. I need to wake up from this freaking dream. I mean, things happened to fast. I need it in slow mo.

It all started when Robert started to tell things about my ex since he attended the Battle of the Bands at my old school. He was saying that they're so sweet and all. I felt kinda... angry. I mean, how can he move on so easily? Everything I did was for his freaking sake. I didn't want a long distance relationship. It'll bring problems. I don't want him to get hurt. (But naturally he did.)

Anyway, I wanted to move on too. I already did, but everytime I remember him, I crumble.

//.how'd.we.get.in.here.//

I have no idea. I don't want to cry anymore. I have a lot stored in my body, and I don't want it to run out. I love myself.

//.heck.you're.shivering.//

I went swimming yesterday at Astral, and didn't had the chance to wash myself when I got home. It was freaking cold. I was too sleepy to do anything, and before I knew it, I was eating already. I didn't know why I was freaking tired. I didn't even swim too much.

//.rest.//

I will. After I finish this. Which I'll be doing right now.

The Cram Spam.

2008-11-02T07:22:00.000-08:00

//.welcome.to.the.cram.spam.//

Yeah. Welcome. It's 11.23 PM in my watch. Cramming to make a certain project. PROJECTS, I mean. Haven't done the book report. Nor the Con Math project. Haven't finished the Values. I love myself. Arghh.

//.so.why.are.you.late.//

IMPOSSIBLE.

MY BLOG'S TALKING TO ME! AHHHHHHHH!

Or rather, I'm talking to my blog. Yeah right. Anyway, I had my sembreak at my province. As much as I wanted to do these freaking projects, uhh, yeah, I didn't had the chance since 1.) I had no stable internet connection, 2.) I was lazy and 3.) I was busy. Hell busy.

I became crazy too. If you know what I mean.

//.yeah.yeah.sure.//

H3 will be done at Pasig. And I didn't know where Pasig is till a while ago. I got the Directory and and looked where it is. I live between Mandaluyong and Manila. And I'm near San Juan. Which is beside Pasig. Whoo-hoo. I'm near Pasig.

//.ahh.bored.//

My blog's dead. I pity it so much.

Wants and Needs are almost the same.

2008-10-22T08:03:00.000-07:00

//.straight.to.the.point.//

For the first time in a long time, I won't put some introduction/prologue/thoughts to ponder on. I'm TIRED of typing those stuff from doujinshis. God. Need quotes? Approach GDmechano and [idea]'s works. Even Akira Hojo's works have those.

//.what's.new.//

I want a digitizing tablet. Or something like that. I got envious when I saw Tegaki E blogs and there was this rule... ARGH! I WANT A TABLET!

The rule goes like this. "This is a blog where entries and comments are handwritten, ie. with a mouse (or tablet)."

I haaaate it! XP I tried writing on a canvas at PS using the mouse... No use. It's darn hard...

Face it, sweetheart. You fail big time.

//.the.anti.religion.club.//

Or so my cousin said. I have no idea where he got this. I just asked if he was anti-religion and all (no offense.) and he said no. I said I was and I'm enjoying it, and he asked how to join the club.

Here's our discussion (sorry if some are in tagalog. sorry.):

arimi-san: yaaaaaaay~ dami nang anti-christ/god/religion sa mundo..
nox_genesix: you speakin to me?
arimi-san: yap.
nox_genesix: aww.. you got the wrong message...
arimi-san: awww, that's too bad!
arimi-san: i'm anti-religion, and i'm loving it.
nox_genesix: di ka nagsisimba?
arimi-san: nagsisimba, pero ung utak ko palaging naiiwan sa bhay
arimi-san: stig
arimi-san: haha, cge, ttyl
nox_genesix: hmmm.. how do i apply?
arimi-san: apply to what?
nox_genesix: your club
arimi-san : club what?
nox_genesix: the antichrist tingy
arimi-san: well..
arimi-san: think of a reason why religion is a piece of crappy evidence that humans lack common sense.
nox_genesix: uuhhhh... processing... la bang tagalog?
arimi-san: okay. tagalog
arimi-san: maghanap ng rason kung bakit ang relihiyon ay isang ebidensya na nagsasaad na bobo ang isang tao
arimi-san: for short
arimi-san: bkit may relihiyon kung di mo nga kilala kung sinong sinasamba mo
nox_genesix: hmm... i'll think about it...
arimi-san: okay then.
nox_genesix: ty
arimi-san : LOL
arimi-san: aus lang dude

Anyway, hate me for being anti-religion, I simply don't care. I'd tell you to kiss my ass and shove off. Everyone has beliefs. And that's what makes a person unique.

//.what.now.//

What?! You hate me? What did I do?

//.public.matters.stupid.//

Alright. Let me get this straight.

You're telling me to stop preaching out my own beliefs for the public's sake. HA HA.

Are you out of your mind?! THIS IS MY FRIGGIN' BLOG, DARN IT! I don't care if you flag me or WHATEVER, I don't care! Why? You hate me because I'm anti-religion? Sure, HATE ME! Who cares?! I'm better off myself anyway!

//.calm.down.//
//.what's.with.you.//

I'm pissed. Life's hard, you know. You're a blog, damnit. You're supposed to be hearing out everything I'm saying. Instead, you're telling me what to do.

Wait.

You're a freaking blog.

//.realization.//

I just realized I'm talking to a blog.

*calls the hospital**specifically the one who handles with lunatics*

I'm sorry, but you've gotta see this quick. There's this girl who's talking to her blog...

//.12:00.//

Draft autosaved at 12:00 AM. WOW. Talk about nice timing.

Anyway, I think this is enough for my harsh Thursday morning. HAHA. See you soon, blog. :)

GAWD. Here I go again! XD

The Dedication.

2008-10-20T18:21:00.000-07:00

He's a real nowhere man.
Sitting in his nowhere land.
Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.
Doesn't have a point of view.
Knows not where he's going to.
Isn't he a bit like you and me?
Nowhere man, please listen.
You don't know what you're missing.
Nowhere man, the world is at your command.
He's as blind as he can be
Just sees what he wants to see.

-gdmechano, nowhere man

//.i'm.stupid.//

I know.

//.confession.session.//

When I say I haven't got a crush on someone... I'm lying. I have this certain crush on a certain person who likes another certain person that he's so dedicated on her. I have nothing against it. Swear.

So, this is messing you up. Let me explain.

He's a boy. He's someone I just knew this year. From afar, he sounds and LOOKS stupid. But if you get to talk to him, I'm sure you'll change your impression.

He's really kind. Though as much as I hate it, he usually teases me a lot. That's the only flaw.

I'm not obsessed at him. I had enough with this love thingy.

I failed to see myself hurting a lot when I fell in the hidden, firey depths of love. I got ass-kicked, beaten, yet I still failed to realize it hurts a lot. I was numb in those periods of epic-failness! XD

//c'mon.arimi.be.serious.//

You might be wondering WHY I always freaking change my mood when I tell stories and such.

I know it's a bit selfish of me to do that. I mean, changing my mood so I won't get carried away too much. I hate getting read by other people. No one can read me. No one.

I guess that's what makes people think I'm emo. God, no! I'm not emo! I can dress-up like one, but after a few minutes I'll be smiling like a goof ball. Then you can call me poser. LOL. ♥

Having said that, I also have my limitations towards things. Like, I do know how to get hurt.

Yeah. I'm not dumb, morons. :) (Don't mistaken it if I call people morons. I just love that word as much as I love you guys. :). )

//.end.//

I'm sleepy. It's 1:56 in the morning, for Pete's sake. XP. I love you all. PEACE OUT.

The Search.

2008-10-17T23:56:00.000-07:00

What am I looking for?

It's something you won't appreciate, of course.
It's something that doesn't concern you.
It's something you don't know.

Get out of here.
Get out.
Please.
Before I could lost control of myself.

Before I could kill... myself.
GET OUT OF HERE.
PLEASE.

//.and.yet.//

And yet I'm back. I have no one to run to, huh. Mind you that I'm talking about many people here. And I guess I'm just hopeless. Hopelessly lost. And scared. No one can help me, anyway. No one. Not even you.

//.help.//

In this world, no one could help me. But I hope someone can.

//.hell.//

Help.

//.epilogue.//

Done with my ranting.
The search is just beginning.

Let's play a game called "Pretend".

2008-10-17T10:06:00.000-07:00

Even though we both knew it, we pretended no to, and make it seem like we're just embracing each other for fun of it...

Pretending that we were just doing it because we needed something different from our ordinary lives...

But if stopped to think about it, we'd realize that, we barely even know each other...

//.same.old.//

I'll pretend that I'm not hurt. I'll pretend that I didn't regret what I posted a few days ago. I'll pretend that I don't miss YOU and I DON'T WANT YOU BACK.

Let's play a game called "Pretend". We will pretend what we feel is the opposite of what we feel right now. For example, I'm sad. I'll pretend I'm happy. Got it? I'll start then. Anyway! You can also call this game: "Lie to me". Don't cheat!

//.game.of.lies.//

I'm pretending that I'm full of energy and I'm seriously BLOATED. I'm actually happy right now! Very happy! I'm so happy I can kiss anyone!

Anyway... I don't really miss my friends right now. I'm totally not pissed, of course. Why would I? I mean, they didn't really hurt me or somewhat. I hope they don't read this. I want them to be happy and go on with their lives while I don't.

I'm laughing so hard. My tummy hurts a lot!

I moved on. Swear.

//.is.hell.back.//

I can't cry. I guess my tears already dried up. I have no idea why they're not falling. I want them to fall.

Hell? Yeah. It is pretty much back, in this case. Welcome to my life.

Memories of my past years are returning. It's haunting me.

I shouldn't have mingled on my FS.

I shouldn't have posted these things.

I shouldn't have.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE.

Now, I can hear Satan's roaring laughter. Laughing at me. Laughing at my obviously dumb and stupid mistakes. I can feel his power. I'll pretend that I don't. The "Lie to me" game is still on, after all.

//.what's.happening.to.me.//

WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?

It's a top secret. If you're my closest friend in the world...

Ahh, no way. No one knows. Don't worry. No one knows what's happening to me. I promise you. So rest assured, you're not alone. But I advise you not to think about it much. I mean, I'm always like this. But for you guys...

I'll pretend to be happy. Like the rest of you are. :)

//.epilogue.//

Faraway eyes gazed around to see proof of life.
Is it really here?
Was it worth it?

Those eyes that wandered gave up.
Closing them tight.
Never opening them again.
Pretending.
Pretending to be asleep.
Forever.

I'm back.

2008-10-15T08:29:00.000-07:00

The harmonious sound of waves.
Deep in the forest.
Where one is lost.

They hurt all the time-
Those wounds and scars you inflicted upon me.

Seeping through, dying red.
This root of mine was innocent and sweet.

- [idea], graceful degradation (as alphonse)

//.why.are.you.so.late.//

Mind you. I'm student, so... Anyway. It's like I'm talking to a real person here. And it's like that you're the only one who can understand me. Woot.

And nothing happened yesterday. Nothing special, I mean. Lousy day.

//.what's.new.//

I'll elaborate this for you. I don't want to make this long. I have many things to post, too.

I have said what I have to say about the issues on school. I'm done telling my part. But the fact that many rose this topic up at class made me a bit pissed. I dunno why. I guess after that effort of posting a lot of things, nobody reads this blog anyway.

I'll say it again.

If my batchmates can't do it, they can simply leave this school and have honors at other schools. That would be much more easier. No efforts, no sleepless nights. Only one thing. It proves that you're a piece of my freaking ass, meaning you're a big coward.

Why am I getting heated up on this? Simple. I don't want to fail my family down. And then my parents claim that I'm the smartest one on the family. Yeah right.

And it's such an honor to be here, then these morons destroy the honor. Great. Thanks a lot.

//.great.//

Now I'm pissed enough to stop thinking of what to post. I just knew I had something in my mind a while ago. Argh. Thanks a lot, bitches. Now I have to struggle thinking of what to write.

I've been pissed since this afternoon. My sister left me at school while she practiced at home. So meaning, she won't come back for me. But, I hoped she will. She's older than me, and has responsibility over me. But she didn't. And I didn't brought my cellphone. Nice timing.

I had to walk about 10-20 meters back and forth from MaSci to Pearl Manila. It was irritating. I was hoping they would pass the U-Turn near Pearl Manila. Nope. Not a chance. I went back to MaSci, and I saw the car. Perfect. Now's the perfect chance to breakdown.

We went to Otis to do some grocery and eat. They treated me since I acted like a baby. Well, hear, hear. I did.

//.i'm.at.hell.//
//.again.//

Oh come on. I sold my soul to the devil already. No need to tell me that. You know that I'm anti-religion. God. Stop harassing my ability to tell that I simply hate your "gods".

And personally.

I've been experiencing a lot of things today. I need to set my priorities. I hate myself. I don't know what to do. I HATE MYSELF.

(And I hate these freaking scene about this freaking break up. I hate saying these words but WHAT THE HECK.)

I'm back at being miserable. I can't believe this.

Thanks a lot, my dears. Let's see each other at hell.

//.epilogue.//

Inside me was a total darkness like that of a midnight's
Though I shouldn't have been able to feel anything, anymore.

Even so, please do not accept.

The fact that I own what I should not.

And realize what I have lost.

-gdmechano, night flyer

I was pissed. And still blindfolded.

2008-10-13T02:47:00.000-07:00

It was beautiful in a bright afternoon...

Just like a miniature garden.
But, despite its charm, the bell still chimed:

"run away, run away quick!"

Try calling for me... if you're there.
Try feeling me... if you're there.

-[idea], oasis

//.so.i.am.back.//

I've been posting everyday. Gawd. Alright. I'm here to post like a real blogger. ALL PICTURES WERE TAKEN BY ME. SO EXPECT AMATEUR-LOOKING PICS AHEAD.

//.foundation.day.//

My dad asked us not to school. He was lazy to drive us to school. So much for being a father of three.

Anyway, we went there anyway. Arriving around 10:30, I was a bit scared since I thought we won't be able to go inside. But we did anyway. My classmates were squealing and asking me why I was late. I told them I woke up late. The normal alibi.

The crowd was hideous because of the jail booth. It was kinda lousy though. With all the "we will capture all those who are wearing shoes" and stuff. Lousy. Kinda autistic. XD

I spent most of my time at Newton's homeroom. Laugh around their jokes and all. The atmosphere was kinda weird, actually. I don't want them getting the wrong idea that I'm getting all close with them, so I left to go to the MAPEH booth. Ate Jio was making a cap. It caught my attention, and I knew I was not gonna get it. So I told myself that I'll make my own cap someday. :D

We didn't stay long anyway. We were utterly BORED. So by 1:30 went hopping our way to Midtown.

We had our pictorial at the comfort room. We just LOVED the mirrors! Bored, we decided to eat at Hotshots. It tasted sorta like Wham!, but they had free chips. :D I learned that tomato catchup and mustard tastes great together, even on chips. :D

But what bothered (or rather distracted) me the most is this:

Salt on a pepper container. Wow. What a brilliant idea.

Okay. Leave unattended. Nice. You can tell that I'm bored, huh? Funny thing is that a guy in green stared at the camera when I was taking this. Talk about suck-ass. Just kidding. XD

Damn vintage. Anyway, this is too long already. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. NO?

//.what.i'm.trying.to.say.//

I'm trying to say that I want to go serious with blogging. And my day was lousy as usual. XD Anyway, I'll post soon. :D

Neo Venus

2008-10-12T08:08:00.000-07:00

I finally understand.
The remembrance that concealed understanding from me...
When did you start to like me?
Because of that, I can no longer say it.
Already, you...
I can't chase after you...
How many times have I made up my mind because of you?
How many times was it something I swore for you...?
Unnoticed, I was always gazing...
Upon your back.
And tomorrow...
Something will change.
Whether I win or lose, no longer in this place...
Really.
I was happy with only that.
Will things be the same...

-akira hojo, neo venus (as fuji)

//.am.i.irritating.or.what.//

Yeah sure. My blog, my rules, my pants. No complaints. I'm in the mood for writing today! Even though I have to admit that I am still in writer's block with that DouWata fic. I'm planning to finish it soon. It just ended its climax!

Anyways, I had nice feedbacks on my last blog post. I actually posted that in less than 20 minutes. (aweeee) My typing skills really went down when I stopped using the computer. And I need to memorize the keys to this freakin' keyboard. Why? I have no idea.

//.what's.new.//

Well... Yeah. My sister's asking me to edit her profile at Friendster. She wants this whole "vintage" thing since I started it. Damn me. (kills myself)

And yeah, I'm a fan of Chupa Chups! (moments of silence.) I know I'm loser. Get over it.

But what made me happy this night is the...

Well, let me tell you the whole story. Yesterday, I was drying my hair when I grabbed my sister's digicam and closed the lights. I opened this particularly old orange light that's supposed to be my brother's "macho-man" light. (Yeah, he always shows us that months ago. Dancing like a moron.) And I started snapping pictures of me. And I saw it was nice, I decided to repeat what I did today. And I saw "VINTAGE".

I was like: "O.O OMG. I am using the most beautiful and useful invention in the history of photography!". (I am over-reacting, huh?)

No more photo filters! No more tints, black and whites! NO NEED TO EDIT AT PS! XD What an effortlessly brilliant way to gain pictures. :D

//.am.i.losing.my.touch.//

Nah. I'm a lazy heroine. I'm just a lazy slut. Lazy enough not to use an Adobe Photoshop CS3. Smart huh?

The fun thing about CS3 is that you can download all brushes you want, without the fear of not being able to use it. Most of the brushes I want are CS3 compatible. But I have no idea how to do animations in this baby. I saw the animation map or something (I TOLD YOU I'M LAZY ENOUGH NOT TO LOOK, though that is a bit common sensical <--new word)... So, maybe "Save Optimized As", huh.

//.i.am.scared.//

Like I said, I'm a freshie. I have the guts to tell my classmates to eat my shit and let them tell it taste like strawberry but I am scared of Seniors. Except my sister, though. I bully her much. LOL

Most of all, I'm scared at some of my sister's classmates. (lower lip quivers) Well, all freshmen wants to know Seniors. My classmates (most of them) know my sister's classmates. Makes them a part of the "in" crowd. I refuse to do the same, though I hang out much with my sister 'cause I'm stuck with her until the rest of the year.

And I guess I'll bring up that certain wall that separates me from the Seniors. God.

//.don't.i.get.bored.//

Nah. I missed you! XD Alright,I'll leave. You want me away, fine! Just kidding. I'll be back soon!

MaSci is gone?

2008-10-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

In the middle of nowhere...
An adult interferes on a game a child plays...
The rules of the game changes...
Everybody's affected...

A child's play is supposed to be a child's play.
No adult should interfere.
But in this case...

Things change.

-mememe

//.what.i.have.to.say.//

As a freshmen of Manila Science High School... As a daughter and sister of an alumnus of the said school... I guess I know the Mascian 101. They have warned me of what's in here. Sleepless nights, loads of homework, TRADITION OF EXCELLENCE.

But, as what Ate Diana Orolfo posted in the Multiply Site of the SSG, I am perfectly ashamed of how the parents of the freshmen are behaving. They're like children themselves; they keep on reclaiming. Who wanted to study here? They had a choice themselves.

I admit that we freshmen are pretty much boastful and very rude in our age. We have no right to reclaim when we're just starting.

As stated here, I will say what I have to say in every proof they stated.

//.proof.1.//

Like the proof said, 7 o'clock classes changed to 8.

I graduated at my old school where in we start our Flag Ceremony at 7 and usually end at 7:15, except of there are programs and stuff. At 7:30 we start our classes.

I wake up at 5:00 am everyday when I was at elementary. My service picks me up at 6 and by 6:40-6:50 we're already at school.

I got used to this 7 o'clock routine. Why not them? I understand that they're from public schools and such, but heck. They can adjust too. As for me, I'm adjusting again since I slept much at summer vacation. But I already did, and now I'm back to my old routine.

The point is, why the hell would the parents ask for THAT? Last year, we lived in Caloocan and my sister usually sleeps at 12 or 1 am and wake up at 4 am. And she never reclaimed. My brother was also the same.

If they can do it, why not us freshmen?

//.proof.2.//

The reducing of assignments.

Very childish. I should say that their children are just plain LAZY. (I'm not saying that I'm not.)

Too much assignments, pfft. Whatever. Why don't they just change schools so they become honors. That would be much effortless, now, wouldn't it?

//.proof.3.//

Useless subjects. Reduce.

Besides from Nihonggo, which was dissolved, according to Ma'am Arellano since we don't have our Nihonggo teacher, I would admit the other subjects are really useful. (NOT that I'm saying that Nihonggo is useless... We just don't have a teacher. And I know a few Japanese myself.)

Oh c'mon. You came to Masci to learn more. Not less. What would your dismissal be, then? 2? 3? Shameless parents.

//.proof.4.//

Principal rarely allows students to join contests.

We are to sustain the Tradition, not to cut it short! At my brother's batch, they ruled. I saw my brother's potential. I saw him show his self. The side of him that I didn't even saw even once.

Why not participate on contests? This would show a student's potential. A very hidden potential that can only be seen HERE in Masci.

//.proof.5.//

Teachers accommodate 2 sections at a time.

Now who's straining? Who should be?

We should be the one exerting the effort, not them. They're here to teach. And we're here to exert effort and learn. They end up getting more load of work, stress, effort. 60 pupils a time is already straining. I guess people lack mercy if they themselves are not involved, huh?

//.am.i.afraid.//

HELL NO. If I was, well, I guess I shouldn't have the guts to finish this post. I told my side. I hope the GREAT freshmen out there tell this to their wonderful parents. That would be much helpful. So they would have a clue on what REAL Tradition is. I don't want them changing the rules. They're not a GOD.

If they think they're helping, guess what? THEY AREN'T. They're turning Masci to a normal public school. KNOCK-KNOCK, eggheads. This is Manila SCIENCE High School.

Oh damn, I'm pissed.

A known fact.

2008-10-11T15:31:00.000-07:00

DO NOT FORGET.

What is it that's telling me to hurry?
What is it that's echoing those words in my ears?
Do not forget,
Do not forget...
What is it that slips through and falls from your hands?
What is it that you want to recover?

-gdmechano

//.the.known.fact.//

We all know that no one reads this blog. I mean, seriously? C'mon! I'm not much of a fool not to know that. We all know that the only people reading this blog... I can count them using my own fingers. It's not bad, actually. There's only one reason why I'm blogging anyway.

I want to organize my thoughts. I don't want everybody to read this. I just want to straighten up my thoughts and get going... moving... running in my life. I want to be normal.

//.what's.new.//

I have a stable internet connection, so I can blog every now and then. And... I guess my Legal Drug volume 3 is new.

Well... I had a new notebook from G-Box.

And I guess I have new doujinshis. Yay for me. Woootsauce.

//.am.i.alright.//

Thinking about it... I am. I am perfectly well, and I plan to be like this until I finish high school. I don't want to go through the same thing I went through early this year. I want to be back to my giddy (not to mention crazy also) self. And I want to go back to my natural self: the girl in front of the computer squealing for yaoi. ♥♥♥

And please, I'm not pretending. I am alright, and very much fine. I never felt so good in my life. ^^

//.what.happened.//

I'm cooking again, bit by bit. Nothing much, just my mother ranting and all. I suddenly realized that I acted like a maid yesterday. I cooked, did laundry, cleaned... Wow. I can marry now! Just kidding. I have no plans on marrying.

Why? Because I don't feel like it. I mean, would I spend all of my life acting like a slave for a guy I know who would cheat on me? No. That's plain stupid.

//.miscellaneous.//

Now, let's go back on the drabbling. I miss drabbling. :'(

Anyway! I'm in section LAVOISIER, but we nicknamed ourselves "LAVO" but I preferably use "LALALAVO:)". We're nothing much, just a bunch of idiots and losers. AND POSERSSSS!! XD

Anyway, we have no idea how to pronounce our section. Talk about a bunch of idiotic morons. LOL

Anyway, I'm bored. I'll see you guys soon. :)

I am blindfolded.

2008-10-11T00:10:00.000-07:00

As I hear the reunion bells chiming...

I feel something damp in my eyes. I tried to open them, but when I did, I saw nothing. Black. Empty. I was blindfolded. And that blindfold separated me from the world others knew. From what I believe in.

//i.am.back.//

I am back! Well... What's with the prologue? I'm not sure. I just read a doujinshi where Edward was blindfolded... because Alphonse didn't want to see his expression. Sad but true, it's really painful.

//.what.is.new.//

I am getting better. I don't feel any peer pressure anymore. I don't feel anything that's supposed to be a boundary from my current friends. Good? The road to craziness is back.

//.why.am.i.changing.my.blog.format.//

I guess... Well. Let's start the serious blogging, shall we? I'll be hunting for new skins and all. Hope somebody's reading this blog anyway.

//.am.i.still.shipping.cookleta.//

Apparently... No. Sad but true, I got sick of it. All people write about them is PORN PORN PORN. No fluff. I rarely read fluff. When cookleta had 500+ members...

Flashback (A pointless one.)

I rarely read porn that time. I mean, real guys doing porn. I have to admit that I wrote mild scenes... but that's not the point. Those guys don't feed on pornography. Hello!?

And I got tired of writing where in no one appreciates it. I guess that's life. But it really does hurt if no one appreciates your work and art, huh? Makes you think twice.

//.can.you.get.out.for.a.while.//

Oh yeah. Gotta change my skin. See ya around. ^^ PEACE OUT.

I have been MIA. I hope I won't be from now...

2008-08-28T06:19:00.000-07:00

I have been at LJ for a while now. Crappy, I'm wasting my time waiting for people to post fics and all. Ahhhh... I'm dying over here.

OTP in the moment? I'm stuck between DaikiChii and Yamajima...

You missed me in writing looooooong posts? I miss it too. I'll try posting a long one later. LATER. Stayyy... LATER!

Friday 13th's fury to me. Gosh.

2008-06-13T08:17:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's plain karma at the wrong time. Maybe it's just a painful karma that makes me flinch when I walk. That's a right. I missed my stepping on the stairs. It was a bit stupid for me, but it really hurts. Maybe the cookleta gods are mad at me for not updating at the community. Nooooooo....

Well... What can I say...? School's amazing, I guess. Lots of amazing guys. Very nice people. I love them all. (I'm kidding, I somewhat hate someone at class. She's annoying me.) Okay, so it's rude for me to say that. But who cares?! I'm rude. Naturally.

Now, I'm finishing a cookleta fic. Titled "Think of Me". A puppy love song, my brother claims. Well, he's right! Archie just loves singing, huh. Well, I guess this fic is a bit sad... A simple search for the person he loves. Ends up failing, and the one he loves finds him back and succeeds. It might be simple, but it's a bit tragic.

I'm bored. I'll continue this sometime soon.

New school? Yessss, that's right,

2008-06-12T04:43:00.000-07:00

I'm attending school so I can't post much and I can't write cookleta much. Ugh. I'm so sad because I can't update. Ugh. And Cook and Archie won't find me anymore...

(Maybe xoxocath isn't updating too because she has school. Well, she is 15...)

My mind's so not working straight right now. I lack sleep. I only sleep for like 4-5 hours. Nice? Nooooo.. It' s nooootttt... I hate it. Well, I'm lacking cookleta fetishes. I need plot bunnies. Lots of em. And also, I need to finish my fic "Think of Me" NOW. I mean later.

I have less than 10 minutes. PEACE OUT.

I'm in a 50-50 mood. ARGH!

2008-06-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

I'm actually devastated to know that I only have 1oo pesos on me (which is actually borrowed from my brother) and that xxxHOLiC volume 11 is 550 pesos. That is what you call "getting you pissed number 1".

I'm actually much more devastated to know that I can't imitate David Archuleta's style of playing Guitar Hero in that arcade called "Guitar Freaks". I was trying to make a laugh. But since it's Sunday, there's church. I have no choice but to go, right? Yes. I'm always right. I'm the wise one. Ohohohoho. Nah.

And I'm happy because of the fanfics I'm reading. I love cookleta. I love them both. I wish they read this blog and hunt me around the globe. Hell, I'll even give my address! I'll really do my plan about pushing Cook. I'm serious. I'm having my goofy-smile thingy going on right now.

But then, if they're fucking straight... I'll seriously freak out. And who the hell's Philip, Lara?!

Oh well, I exhausted myself because of walking around the mall to look for Paula Abdul's album. She's absolutely DARLING.

And by the way... Is anyone reading this anyway?

Oh well, comtinue my useless drabbling. I hate that Kim girl Cook's dating. I hate you. Read this, I don't care. Have hots on other guys, not Cookie, PLEASE. The fangirls are dying to kill you for chasing Cookie away. You're so in your grave now. Well, call me rude. People hate you, babygirl.

Well, I might be rude. I am rude, for Pete's sake! Okay, so I'll be having Kim-girl, Cook and Archie at my home. I need to set up a new plan to have more sin and lust here and out... Hmm.. I can push Kim on the closet filled with flying cockroaches and lock her there and make Cook admit he likes (LOVES) Archie. Perfect plan. Heheh.

Okaaaay, so I'm so addicted. My fandom was ruined by Kim girl. Ugh. Fall on the ditch.

I'm so gonna kill her if I'm not underaged. Well, if I can. I can't cut through human flesh, but I can actually cut through human emotions with words. Hah. Sue me. Haha.

Okay, so I'll end this post by saying that I totally hate Kim Caldwell or somewhat, and I still love Cookleta. <33333333333~!

I feel crappy, and I cried for sometime a while ago..

2008-06-02T21:41:00.000-07:00

I feel so crappy right now. I can't talk to my brother. He's the worst guy right now.

He started teasing me about being a poser and all. Well, guess what? He's a loser.

>>>>>>>>>>>

OMG I so love hiral_c right now. The fanart was AMAZING. It was so goooooood!! Now I need to place some effort on doing anime versions of them... I NEED to.

If I could just print a picture and sketch their figures... I made a drawing last night and it was crappy. I messed Cookie up. I hated myself for doing it, but I ♥ Archie's cute expression. I'll describe him the way I drew him..

He was edging a look at Cook, a little blush in his cheek, and he's holding the mic rather cutely♥!

Okay, so I'm an obsessed freak. Freakier than a raging Haruhi Suzumiya fanboy insisting he should buy a limited edition manga with more specials than other limited edition manga.

Alright, so I'm crazy. Very. I need a doctor.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Cookie posted another pic of them at his MySpace.. I have a feeling he is NOT the one editing it. Since it's just like it's a mini site that states his updates. >_____< Nothing personal inserted in it. Oh well. I'll try putting a fanletter on that thing. I'll tell him something so bad. (about the one he's dating. Argh.) I'm kidding. I'm gonna be hunted by those two. But like I said, if the do and they show up on my house, I'll push Cook so he could fall onto Archie and so that things can start to get peachy. Yeah... And I'll snap some pictures, and post them on the cookleta community on LJ. Whoooo.

>>>>>>>>>>>

Seriously, I don't think Cook can date in this state...

In case you're reading this, please don't kill me.

I have no idea why you're dating. You just won, and you're supposed to be busy.

I understand that you might be stressed, but what the heck..

I am a bit bratty by saying this but... hmm... is this what you REALLY want?

Doesn't that beat the purpose of winning...?

If you wanted to date, you shouldn't have joined AI since you're already good looking. (Ask my mom, she thinks so too. She sounded disappointed when she heard you were dating someone.)

But then, it's your life. I have nothing to do with it. *raises both hands*

>>>>>>>>>>>

My current mood really affected this post. Damn bro.

But heck, I posted a happy pic of Fai. Kill me already, please.

The reason why I feel crappy is because my brother called me a poser. Darn it.

So.. Yeah, okay, I'm weird.

2008-06-01T23:52:00.000-07:00

Yes. I'm crazy. I need a doctor.

/.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\

So, my eyes are sore, and it's hurting like hell. I just ate a Rocky Road Sundae from Jollibee... I think I'll have a fever...

Okay, I totally freaked out knowing David Cook was dating somebody. I hated it. Is he dating somebody? I'm so gonna kill that girl.

/.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\./.\

I'm ranting all night. I was haunted because of it. I hated it.

OMG, Cookleta hands down!!

2008-05-31T07:30:00.000-07:00

This is pairing is the best. Cutest. Amazing. Indescribable. Too much to handle. TT_____TT

Okay, so apart from reading a "Lolita-loving pervert" version of David Cook, and those sweet kisses at the backstage, and some "Don't let me go" phrases... I guess I can live off for a while.

Well, I realized I should continue writing the Cookleta fic I was doing! If I was inspired. Well, I am! And I'll do it sometime soon. (Admit it, you're murmuring that I'm so boring. That I'm lazy. That I suck. Well, guess what, you don't need to tell more.)

So... Cook is the biggest lolita-loving pervert in case he likes Archuleta. (*chants* Ihopehedoesx1000) And It's shotacon, and it's yaoi, and it's bisexual love. So, to cut it short I plainly love it. Because those guys can cosplay into Loveless. But Soubi has long hair. But he's a lolita-loving pervert~ And he's cool. And he has piercing. But I don't think Cookie has one. But it would be cool if Archie pierced it the way Ritsuka did it on episode 3. Blushing, Soubi's hands on Rit's waist. Imagine that. IMAGINE it. And Archie has to wear kitty ears and tail. Now Cookie would be pleased by that. HE would be heck pleased.

Well, if they cosplayed as Loveless, Cookie would look like a dork wearing some fluffy coat. >.>; Gee, this sucks. But Archie would suit it. Kitty ears... *nosebleeds with Cookie* I know, it's too much fanservice, you know?!

So... If they cosplayed... Nah, no way. Cookie needs a pair of glasses for it. Gravitation. T____T I know, this can never happen...

B-b-but! If they consider Naruto yaoi, I would make them cosplay as Sasuke and Naruto! Naruto would be Archie. Because he's a freakin' uke. ^^

They would have an... I mean.. OMG. No. Not Naruto. PLEASE. After the anal accident, it scares me much that Sasuke wasn't affected by it. T_____T No please, NOT NARUTO. I can't bear seeing Archie have his butt.. uhh.. You know what happened. Don't let me say it.. It's too much sadism! T___T

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I am SO addicted. I need to make banners. I NEED TO!!

Call me an addict. I would be pleased. (*beats up the one who said it*) Just messin, >.>;

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm gonna be accused on imitating Santa for all this "Ohohohohohohohohoho~" thing going on. It's scary! But I'm good at it.

Gee, are the both of them born smiling?! They're smiling in all their pics! >_______< Cute~ Hot~ Cute~ Hot~ in endless repeat. And superb "Ohohohohohohohohohoho~" going on. It's making me dizzy.

Okay... so here's the big dilly. In the pics I'm checking, Archie's staring to Cookie a lot. O.o;

Check this out.

DAVID COOK: You left the key in the room again?
DAVID ARCHULETA: No, it's right here.

Sue me for this. I don't care. I just found this in a wonderful place called "Internet".

YES. I FOUND THAT ON THE PLACE THAT IS HALF PORN, HALF ANIME. ^^

My mind is blank.

2008-05-30T19:24:00.000-07:00

Yes. I can't think of anything to write. I guess I'll just tell you guys about the wonders of the new fanfic I was doing...

Well, this time, it's DouWata. Some vacation. In this story, there will be a sprain-rain scene, a sweet yet tragic bloody scene about the spirit, some bittersweet scenes about rejection, ignorance and a perfect set-up by Yuuko, Himawari and Mokona. *bow* It's simple. But yet, I think it is the best fic I have written so far. Very well detailed, and expresses emotions very nicely.

I know, I'm praising myself. ^___^ That's why I love myself. *kills myself* ME? LOVE Myself?! Are you kidding me? That's the most stupid thing I've ever heard! I can kill myself (if I wanted to, but I don't.) and make an everlasting scar on my arms. I can skin my own self alive. But I can't. Since it's plainly impossible. I'm not like Soubi. I'm not a masochistic type of person. Besides, I'm young. I should enjoy my youth!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

What's with the stupid sound effects?!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And my question once again... Guys use vibrators?

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Okay, I'm bored. TT____TT Hmmm.. Who is the First Prince... Who was it agaiiiin... I give up.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

And another question! If Tsunade was traumatized by blood, would that mean she would experience the same thing when she experiences monthly period? Maybe she reached her menopause early. >______> Darn you Luli for saying my punch line!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ahem. So far... WHAT THE HECK? JAP DUDES! IT'S NOT EVEN YAOI!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'll end my post here. I'm merely spamming. BUT ANSWER ME! DO guys use vibrators nowadays?

PEAce Out...

The town where HORNY children lived~♥.

2008-05-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

Shiawase no koe blah blah.

Shiraishi is definitely my Japanese dude. He rocks. I want his Lucky Star album!

Personally colored by me, which is actually very ugly. T___T Yutaka-chan and Minami-chan. Yuuuuri~ Well, I have to say... I like bisexual love. ^____^ Since I'm partly bi? No way.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I wonder. I'm feeling a bit uninspired writing here. T___T Sad, very sad.

Oh yeah. Yesterday I reread many doujinshis on my mom's laptop (don't hit me, I know it's not safe to do that.) which has I think NC-17 ratings and all. And I read this wonderful manga that.. uhh.. so there was this guy who has this store.

CASE 1:
A guy was caught stealing. He seduced the robber, rather than calling the police.

CASE 2:
A guy was buying a whatsoever device to stop a dog from barking. He brought him at the storage room, and placed that whatsoever device on the guy buying it. And he seduced that guy.

CASE 3:
A guy was asked by his little brothers to get a pet. He went to that man's store (breaking and entering) and saw two guys.. uhm.. having this.. (I CAN'T BEAR SEEING MY BLOG FLAGGED) okay. SO they had vibrators on their asses. The two of them. And when he tried to help them and removed "that", they came on his face. BWAHAHA. And the guy who owns that house came and seduced him for robbing his so-called "pleasure".

Scary, huh? Pretty weird to me. T____T Case 3 was rather complicated. I can't explain it like that.. >______< >>>>>>>>>>>

Oh yeah...

Guys use vibrators? O.o;

>>>>>>>>>>>

I changed the title for my sister's sake. It was originally "Marimite? Bridegroom Rumba? I must be crazy!". >____> I just forgot to tell the wonderful wonders of Shiraishi Minoru!

Nagai yoru, hitori koete...

2008-05-24T06:33:00.000-07:00

Passing the long night alone...

That part of the song "Mr. Deja Vu" was the part where in Juubei and Kazuki was seen.. uhh... What were they doing anyway? They were chilling around... Or something. Alright, I'll show you.

This is a wallpaper of them. The scene is sorta like this. Hmmm... Suddenly, I stopped finding pics of them and started on other things... NOOOOOOOOOOOO! >_________<

Well... Lemme see... Besides from reading a lot of yaoi, and eating a lot... T_____T I'm gaining WEIGHT! Nooooo...! Geez, I lost a lot of thoughts in this blog post. I was supposed to put A LOT of things here last night.. I forgot what I should right... T_T

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm bored, so I'll make a nice rain scene, staring Juubei and Kazuki!

Scene: The part after they ran away when the Fuuchouin household was on fire. It was raining. Juubei, as Kazuki said, felt so distant at the time he needed him. Kazuki was running, kimono soaked and so dirty with the mud, and Juubei's chasing him.

Juubei: *shouts* Kazuki! Please, wait!
Kazuki: ... *still running*

A few more minutes of running, Juubei grabbed his arm. Kazuki didn't wanted to look at him. He didn't know why Juubei was acting so distant. (I'll write it in normal way.. Dialogue seems informal.)

"Why are you acting like this, Kazuki?!" Juubei asked worriedly. He had to raise his voice a bit since he's serious and worried.

"That's what I wanted to ask YOU, Juubei!" Kazuki clutched onto Juubei's yukata. Tears roll down his face. "Why are you so distant when I need you the MOST, Juubei?!" His tears were endless.

"Kazuki..."

"Just because my whole family died... Doesn't mean..." Kazuki pressed his lips onto Juubei's, "Doesn't mean you should, too... You're the only one I have, now..." Rain was pouring down rather strong. Kazuki was soaking wet, and it really cold.

Juubei pulled him slowly in a warm, securing embrace.

To be Continued
>>>>>>>>>

Gee, that was boring. >.>; Well, I'll continue that sometime soon. I'm bored. V__V No time to be dramatic. T___T I guess I'm bored and I'm getting a bit sleepy.. *yawns*

Sleep, is the best medicine for bored people. Sore ja, CIAO~

Face the TRUTH. I can't do this.

2008-05-22T16:40:00.000-07:00

I realized I can't quit AC just like that. I'll be leaving a lot of people. Which is sad, of course. My FF, my buds, *sigh* I can't do it...!

>>>>>>>>

American Idol rocked! David Cook won! Okay, so I don't really care who wins because I only have one purpose of seeing the two. BL. Haha, I know, I'm obsessed! But look, if they had a relationship, Cook would be a lolicon lover! The perfect yaoi match! See, David Cook's cool, handsome (duh), has a great voice, IS the American Idol, PERFECT SEME. While David Archuleta is cute, having all this scared effect that makes him a lot cuter than usual, a really great voice for ballad, PERFECT UKE.

When they were with the Guru Pikta, I was laughing my ass out when Archuleta was told about "growing hair on weird and wonderful places." Haha~ But the Love Guru was WRONG about Cook have to shave! I think it was hot. LOL, another asset for his uke!

Okay, so I'm a freak. B-b-but!! The two are sending lots of hints! Shoulder touch, waist hold, the longest hug on screen, *siiiiigh*. Gee, kill me if you can, skin me alive, but you can't let me change my mind that easily, BWAHAHAH~

Maybe something like this happened when Archuleta and Cook was hugging each other at the finals.

Archuleta: *whisper* See? I told you you were great! But... Don't forget about... that... please... (Ohohohohoho~ That scene is actually nice and breezy~ Wanna see it? WAIT, YOU FIEND!)
Cook: I won't. I promise I won't...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I'm SO gonna be skinned alive! Please, don't hunt me down and kill me the way Sekai killed MAKOTO!! NOOOOO! Speaking about Sekai killing Makoto, it's actually scary... Then ending of School Days was creepy. Stupid crappy anime. LOL

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

YAY~ Happy Birthday to my cousin Denisé!! Wooooooot~! Gochisou, gochisou~ May the power of yaoi possess you wonderful spirit!! >_____>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Look. You're craving for more DCxDA. Ohohohoho~

I was thinking about a scene in the balcony. Strong breeze, late in the night, Archuleta facing the starless sky... Cook joins him, in a really calm way...

*sigh* Since they're not anime, it's actually hard to make a fic about them because I don't know what their personality is like. And besides, maybe I'm the only person who appreciates this pairing... And if the two read this, which is actually possible, they'll surely kill me. Search for me around the globe, and make myself edit this post and leave my fantasies about the two at the trash. Gee, that's harsh... >.>;; Or maybe I'm just thinking too much. Anyway, I'm just a yaoi otaku girl having weird and impossible fantasies.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I did NOT just said that! That's so mean, to myself, haha~ But I don't mind letting them search for me. I would push Cook to make him kiss Archuleta and I would take pictures of it for my own~ I would not dare publish it on net since it'll get famous and they'll surely kill me now. What the--? What an awesome plan. Ohohohohoho~ (Now I just sound like Santa.)

Kawaii, right? Jou-chan's acting like a wife~ Ahaha~

ARGH! I need fanservice!! >___________<

Gee, what a mean thing to say.

2008-05-19T08:41:00.000-07:00

They said I was addicted in using the PC that I actually broke it for a week. Good thing that freakin' processor has a warranty, phew.

Talk about mean. They totally think I'm obsessed, which is wrong because I don't live on bytes and other things such as stupid ads. I live on bread and wine. (Phew, talk about HOLY.) And I live on yaoi pictures (those printed pictures of L and Light, and A Yuuram crepe when they were dating and eating crepes? Haha~) and some bits of chocolate.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Moving on, I've been reading a lot of manga titles lately. Phew.. And Lucky Star's a bit short.. Cliffy. A BIG cliffy. I mean, can't they even extend it until they reach college?!

The manga? Oh, I usually read Yaoi. There was this weird one with a snake thingy going somewhere between his legs, and I didn't read further on because my parents are behind me. Sleeping. >.>;; Bummer. They wake up every once in a while. Gee, scary huh?

The title of the thing I was reading? Haginokouji Seiya-san no Ran. It looked like a mafia thing. He was like the grandson of some guy who is powerful around Japan. >.>;; I have no idea what it was about, I'm just reading it.. I'm just starting too. So far, his great grandmother was telling him that he should purify his liver.

>>>>>>>>>>>

That matter aside, I was thinking about quiting AC soon. My mom said so. And I think it would be best if I did so since I'll be starting school real soon. But I guess I won't "completely" leave since I'll check every once in a while. About my FF? I dunno.. >.> It's hard for me, surely. Knowing this is a part of my life? Yeah sure, I'm a geek, otaku and a student at the same time. Yeah, my Life's the best. =_=

My weird experience..

2008-05-11T19:42:00.000-07:00

Today's a weird day. Not only that I'm left alone at home with a girl I don't want to be with, but somehow... I'm at ease talking at Alex in MSN. I dunno why. Maybe we're somewhat alike at things. I feel happy seeing a guy same with me. He's a nice guy. ^____^

I've been reading tons of yaoi this day because no one's home. Private time, eh? *laughs* Been reading Bitter Sweet Cafe (Honda and Megumi FINALLY got laid. >__>), Coming Out (Whoa, Naruto acted wild and hasty because of the simple confession! >__<), some boring Death Note kisses (>.> Something sweet = Light's lips) and this Intense Rain thingy... The seme acts funny...

And now the uke gets frustrated since he shoved the seme away. What a loser. And he suddenly visited his seme who is sick at home. I'm sensing a weird premonition about those two...

>>>>>>>>>>>

So, AC's down, I'm bored... No, I'm not bored. Alex has been here for about an hour. ^___^ I wanna thank him badly for keeping me company. And I wanna thank "Intense Rain" for the wonderful story!! *sigh* Alex is gone, and I'm left all alone.. Oh well.

*sigh* Gosh, I can't believe I'm doing this... Writing perv stuff on a public blog. Am I stupid or what? Maybe I'm just dumb... Maybe I just feel sad since I'm alone, no one would talk to me since AC's down.. I told Alex that maybe I just want to be lonely all my life... I guess I'm lying for other's sake so that they won't get close too much to me and they won't miss me too much when I'm gone... That's my problem. I become close to my online friends too much. Like Katriina. When she started being MIA, I felt so sad I was dragged down by my feelings. I thought about leaving AC. It made me realize that you can't be on all the time, at times you want someone to be on. Right now I feel no enjoyment at AC. It can't replace the enjoyment I felt the very first time I had a friend there...

*shrugs* I have no right on saying this stuff anyway. Am I someone so important to them that they'll miss me if I left? Will they cry if I left? They won't. Because sooner or later, they'll forget about me. I'm not a main piece of their life. I can't act like I'm the reason that they're on. I can't. I can't act all high and mighty because we don't have the same culture. We just happened to register at the same forum, meet each other and become online friends...

But, after saying that, it seems so wrong... Do they even know that I think much about my online friends? Do they even know the fact that I became grounded because of them? No. They don't. If they do, they act responsible about it because I don't want them to be. This is my life, and this is my mistake. I don't want anyone to pity me and say "I'm sorry about that...". I don't want to hear those words. It seems so wrong to hear those from a friend because... Friends are there to make you happy, right?

Surely, they like me the way I am. I don't need to change. I don't need to act goody-goody. I don't need to act as someone else. Because I know they'll accept me the way I am. There are lots of people in the forum that I don't know. And it's better off that way...

Right...?

Since I don't have the right to know them. I'm scared to know them. What if they shove me off? What if they don't talk to me? What if they ignore me..? It's something I can't stop thinking about. I'm out of their league. Why should I bother talk to them when I can just go out of this room, and go outside and have fresh air? Why am I anti-social? I'm young, I can do whatever I want, whatever I please. I can do anything I want to.

Then why am I in this chair, this plush doll on my lap and eyes on the screen, reading some manga and on a forum, waiting for a real life friend to be on? Am I this obsessed about this? I need some time for myself too... But it seems like I can't provide enough time for myself to be happy... I'm still a hopeless brat, am I? ^______^ I tend to be happy even though I'm not, I tend to enjoy myself even though I'm hurt. I never released my true feelings at forums. I was scared to. I gave advices, I cried and laughed with them, but how about me? My problems, my joy, my pain... Can't I release it to them and ask for help?

I'm still a hopeless, insensitive jerk who tends to help anyone at pain but doesn't realize herself. I'm stupid enough as it is, I guess. Even though many says I'm strong... I'm still the weakest person acting tough for her siblings... I refuse to cry at times needed. Why am I acting like this? I can't understand myself at all... I'm so stupid... Acting tough for older people. Aren't they supposed to comfort me? But I guess I want helping people... And I don't want to see them hurt...

I don't want to see them cry.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Gee, that was dramatic. If the guys in AC read that, they'll surely kill me.. >_<>.>;;

So, yeah, posting is fun..

2008-05-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

OR I THINK SO! IT'S BORING! I CAN'T DO ANYTHING! MY COUSINS ASKED ME TO WATCH "DESPERADAS" AND I IGNORED THEM! UGGGGGHHH!

Anyway, I've been pissed off for a few days now. It's our new helper. She can't cook, she can't clean the house properly, and she can't even separate colors! Very annoying. To top it off, I'm the one who's cooking for her, while all she does is eat!

Ignore her, she's useless. We're like.. a year apart, and she's feeling all "close" to me. I mean, EEEWWW. I hate her. She's more of a freeloader at home!

>>>>>>>>

To tell you the truth, I'm a REAL pervert. Not that I'm bragging.. Well, look at my last post, and I swear to the Lord Almighty that I can do better than that. Lemme see... I'm bored, so let's make a Light x an OOC L script. The OOC L is a uber cute one, lalala~

L and Light goes shopping. L goes straight for the ho--... I mean, straight to the sweets. Light follows him, then frowns.

L: *hums cutely, reaching for a box of marshmallows*
Light: *before L could put it in the basket, he grabs L's hand* R-Ryuuzaki..
L: Doushite, Raito-kun? *pulls hand back, puts mallows on the basket*
Light: Don't you think you're eating too much sweets?
L: *glares* What do you mean, Raito-kun? I have been like this for many years, and so far I have no intentions of stopping myself. *grabs chocolate syrup*
Light: But Ryuuzaki... *stops when L faces him*
L: *pouts cutely, having tears beside his eyes* B-but Raito-kuuuun, I just can't stop that instant... If I stop now, I'll die... *sniffs*
Light: *sighs**leans to L's ear* That means the chocolate syrup will be still used in THAT and you're still the uke...
L: *smiles* I don't mind, I actually like it when Raito-kun teases me... *runs for his life, getting every sweet thing he likes*

IN THE CAR

Light still has dark plans... About this cute guy who is actually older than him but is actually cute when honest. Thinking about it, Light has a dark tinted car, so they can have a quickie..

Light: *grabs chocolate syrup, removes L's shirt, pours syrup*
L: *blushes* R-Raito-kun..
Light: *licks, chocolate rolls down farther to L's navel* Yum..
L: *blushes* Uhmn... Raito-kun..
Light: You said you like it when I teased you right...? *caresses L's crotch**L moans*
L: Raito-kuuuun's so evil and hasty!! *moan*

AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER... ON THE CAR.

See? I'm a big perv! I would LOVE to continue that but sadly I will be flagged or something I can't continue this blog. Too bad, eh? Just give a tag and I'll give you the continuation, if I get inspired.. I LOVE chocolate syrups.

Awww, L's adorable, right?

Whoooo..

2008-05-10T21:39:00.000-07:00

Wow, finding a good layout is HARD. Harder than Sasuke's c*bleeep*k at m*bleeeeeeep*n...

I know, I'm a perv. Gosh, my head's starting to burst. Burst. Burst... *blushes* Okay, let's get this straight. I'm a yaoi loving bastard who has lots of perverted fetishes about two guys having some "bonding time" like bunnies in the heat. Bunnies.. Yes, BUNNEHS.

Somewhat like this:
Okay, so I'm weird. BITE ME, CROUCHING TIGER!

*nibbles*

I have to say.. I'm bored.

The Sin of Twilight.

2008-05-08T01:57:00.000-07:00

The Sin of Twilight is a doujin about Yami in the Old Egypt and that Kaiba looking guy... And Yami misses Seto Kaiba, what the heck.

Anyway, I just gave an idea where that stupid name came from. I hope you know that doujinshi, since I'm looking for translations.. *laughs* Yeah, I read it in raw and had no idea what they were talking about. Talk about stupid.

To start it off, I'm not new in blogging, and I just wanted to make another blog. Yep, I'm still the boring old Arimi with the stupid fanfic ideas and ends up not doing them. >.>;;

"I'll protect you..."

After Juubei swore to protect Kazuki, he ends up making him suffer. And then after realizing how stupid he was to hurt him, he decides to make his own self suffer. After having those black needles hit his back, Kazuki cried for him, and saved him.

But was it worth it?

Sure, Kazuki was Juubei's best friend. But why would Juubei do this? Because of the future they deserved? For the future where in him and Kazuki would leave peacefully as ever? It wasn't worth the motivation of Juubei to kill Kazuki!

"I will fall with you."

Surely, Yuuri is Wolfram's fiancé, but it was an accident. Would that mean if they didn't became official fiancés, then they won't love each other? Besides, are they supposed to love each other?

Wolfram is a bratty type, sure, but he loves Yuuri. He doesn't want to Yuuri to get hurt. But is Yuuri worth it? Wolfram doesn't really mind if he wasn't loved back (though there are hints that Wolfram is a SUPER jealous type). He wants Yuuri to be happy. But is he worth it?

Wait a minute!!

Surely, you know who Juubei and Kazuki, or Yuuri and Wolfram are! And of course, the things I typed above are so dramatic, you don't want it!

Believe me, I could be your sweetest dream if I told you about my ideas about the two pairings above. They're so far my favorites, and they'll live on at my heart forevermore...

*~*~*~*~*

So, JuuKazu and Yuuram. The wonderful pairings. *faints*

Well. To tell you the truth, I have no idea why I wrote those. Maybe I just think Wolfram and Kazuki lacked loved from their lovers. *sigh*

So, you guessed right. This blog is about my yaoi fondness, and my own experiences. STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

bye bee~!